I spend a lot of my time in reflection.

Reflecting on thoughts, reflecting on where to go next, reflecting on the grandchildren who are going through their own contact denial, and most importantly the reason why I set off along this journey. A journey, I hope of listening, supporting and signposting grandparents to places and people who are there to help.

Every now and then it is necessary for me to remember why I find myself pushing along this path, that is because of our own loss, a loss of a beautiful daughter and granddaughter.

Time to forget the piles of paperwork, the planning and time to get back to the real reason, that I spend hours lying awake at night thinking of grandparents and grandchildren who are not together, trying to think of strategies for people to be better equipped to enable them to live their lives, all because of my granddaughter.

I am acutely aware that it has been 8 years now since we had any contact at all, and that my granddaughter must be allowed to grow and flourish and make her own way in the world, and I have every confidence that the mark she will make will be a great one.

All of my family live in hope that one day she will want to be part of our lives and the door will always be open for her.

The door will also remain open, as it always is, to grandparents who need to know they are not alone.

As I have said on numerous occasions, I don’t have a magic wand, I don’t have the answers, my only expertise is in that I am an expert in the living bereavement that is contact denial.