When we have lost time with someone close to us, we only want that relationship to mend and heal.

It is important to remember the enormous damage that may have been caused, either in reality or in belief.

Children who have lost contact with parents/grandparents may well have been let down by many people in their lives, and will feel vulnerable and fear that they may be rejected again.

Trust will have been broken severely and we  have to work hard to re-build that trust.

We have to show that we are not going anywhere, we are here and ready to listen.

When we first meet someone we tend to trust them quite early on in a relationship until there is a reason not to, but when a relationship has broken down and has taken on the trials of estrangement/alienation, re-gaining trust is much harder.

The hurt you feel when you feel betrayed is like nothing else. What we feel as betrayal comes in so many different forms, but for the children/grandchildren who suddenly have lost contact with family members, it causes deep emotional distress.

Trust is what makes us stick together like glue.

All of us have spent years thinking that we should have done more to prevent this horrible loss  happening in the fist place, we need to trust ourselves before moving on, outside influences may have been at work.

We need to have faith in ourselves that we can prove we can be trusted.

We need to be working towards the best interest of this relationship, a relationship where we can all feel safe.

Good relationships are part of a good quality of life, are good for our well-being.

It will take time, slow steps and unconditional love.

Things may well be different, not as we might imagine but it may well be even better than it was.

Jane