I have been looking at statistics, I know very boring, but necessary when writing reports ect.
One thing that shows up is that we very rarely hear from granddads.
I have always been aware that this is an issue, but how can we get the men to talk?
You may remember that one interview Marc and I did was very emotional particularly for Marc and the producer asked him if he wanted it shown or not. Firstly, why might it be a problem for men to show emotions, and secondly would a producer say that to a women? I think not.
Needless to say Marc wanted it to be shown,he hoped that it would show other granddads that it is perfectly normal and ok for them to shed a tear when talking about their grandchildren.
Often when a grandmother contacts me they will say things like,”My husband doesn’t get as upset as I do,” I would argue, yes he does he just keeps it all in and tries to protect his wife, and to be strong.
It is a conversation that Marc and I have had frequently and he feels that he comes from a generation of men who still feel they have to hide their feelings, to keep the ‘stiff upper lip.’ We still hear mums say to their boys, ‘Boys don’t cry,’ how ridiculous is that. Of course they do and they should.
I am pleased to say that we now have granddads regularly attending meetings, but I know that the majority are suffering in silence.
Being a granddad, is so precious, the relationship between grandchildren and their granddads is unique and wonderful.
Granddads’ hearts melt at the smile of those special people just as much as nanny.
So don’t forget them, they may not say a great deal, but inside they are hurting just as much as anyone.
If you are a granddad reading this, and you need to talk to someone, please call or email us, you are not alone.