Lovely to hear the Chris Evans Show yesterday and today talking about great grandparents and grandparents, wonderful and heroic stories. It is very easy to think that no-one has lovely memories of grandparents when you read the press ect which only publish negative stories.
It is important to keep reminding ourselves that, in the majority of families grandparents are still valued and not treated as a burden or find themselves estranged from grandchildren.
I wrote about residence on our FB page recently and feel very strongly that we have to look at how resilient we are and can we do things to help us be more resilient.
How is it that some people are able to bounce back after trauma and others find it so difficult?
I believe that it is about turning a negative into a positive.
Learning to adapt to a different life, being flexible having the belief in ourselves that we can turn the way we feel around is all about becoming resilient.
When we are thinking in a negative way, we find it almost impossible to see the good in anything.
You will all have heard conversations when someone is saying something positive and the other person will agree with the good but quickly say the, “Yes but…..”
To be resilient isn’t about forgetting the bad stuff, it is acknowledging that stuff and then thinking, about being grateful for what we do have.
Often it is our ‘self-talk’ that is taking over our emotions, we all do it!
It is said that we experience many more positive things than negative, but we seem to notice the negative more than the good things.
We have to try and focus on every positive emotion, for the positives to be more than the negative to enable us to become resilient.
So the scales need to tip towards the positive things.
The more positives the less the negative ‘self talk’ is.
Gaining a sense of purpose is also key.
We can feel that life is not worth living without our grandchildren in our lives, so we have to find a purpose.
So having thoughts of revenge or bad Karma, are not useful.
Don’t fall into the blame game, it achieves nothing.
It has been proven that acts of kindness to others benefits everyone. It is empowering and is up lifting.
One practical thing we can all do is to start a gratitude journal, so everyday write down anything that you have felt grateful for. When we are feeling low we forget things such as, having a roof over our heads, being able to buy enough food, to be able to live comfortably, to have great friends, the list is endless. But we all take those things for granted.
To be resilient is not only about your emotional side, it also means we need to look after ourselves.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break, have time to just sit and think, allow time to give ourselves peace. Sit in the garden and just be.
Finally, don’t forget to laugh.
Having a sense of humour in the darkest of moments can be a life saver, and certainly builds our resilience.
I learnt from my Mum that a good laugh is often the answer, she had lots of difficult times in her life and faced huge sadness, but she never stopped laughing. Just the act of breaking into smile even at sad times works. The ability to make someone laugh is a gift.
Can you make someone laugh today, I quarentee if you can you will feel better too.