When we are faced with the turmoil and desperation of being denied contact with our grandchildren, it is only natural that we seek help. I am asked all the time about strategies and coping mechanisms, so with the help of my friend Amanda Jones BACP, here is a step plan.
I won’t post it all at once, I will post it step by step, over a period of time. There are web links that you may also find helpful.
So here we go:
“I will survive plan”
1: In order to let go, or turn things around it is important to ask for help. We need to accept that we cannot do this alone, so we need to identify in our own minds who we feel we can trust to help and support us. It can be a family member, a close friend, a counsellor or someone within the support group. Asking for help is a strength.
The person/people you choose need to be aware of their role and know what you expect of them. If you ask, they can say no if they don’t feel strong enough, or have problems of their own. If you begin together working as a team to get through this, there is more chance that you will see it through together to the (we hope not bitter) end.
Some of us choose to speak to a counsellor, which ensures confidentiality and the knowledge that you have a trained listener who has no vested interest in your situation, so will give unbiased feedback. Find out more about different kinds of counselling here.
Some counsellors will offer low cost work if you need it. Or you may be able to get some sessions free from your GP. Some therapists will offer a free or cut price introductory session, (it’s always worth asking) so you have little or nothing to lose by shopping around.
Counsellors are a bit like soup, not every kind suits everyone’s taste. It’s worth trying a few until you find the one that is just right for you. If you don’t like the first one you try, it would be a shame give up on soup altogether, try another variety!
Here are some websites which ensure that the counsellors using them are fully qualified.
www.counselling-directory.org.uk also checks the qualifications of its advertisers. This is not an exhaustive list, but a place to begin.
In a nutshell. Find someone you trust and ask them to be your “I will survive” partner.
Ok, so this is where you come in, discuss your views, who have you been to as a ‘trusted friend’ did it work for you?
If not why not?
Feel free to email me if you have any comments.