Where has the compassion gone?

Every single day we are bombarded with tragic, appalling and horrific stories, on our TV’s, Radio and Social Media platforms, is it any wonder that it all seems hopeless?

I know as we get older we all do the ,

‘It wouldn’t have happened in my day,’

but it feels as though our society has become unkind and lacks compassion.

In every part of our lives we hear and see people being disrespectful  to one another.

It can be on the roads, those people who intimidate us, driving up close to us, cutting us up on roundabouts, people who not only take risks for themselves but without a thought of how their actions might affect others.

Standing in a queue, everyone trying to be the first, tutting at the older person who just needs a little time.

I remember my Mum saying that during the war if you saw a queue you just joined it, not really knowing what you were queuing for, could have just been for your rations, but everyone looked out for one another.

You don’t have to venture far from home to encounter someone losing their temper, being abusive to someone in a shop, refusing to give the homeless person on the street corner eye contact.

We witness in our workplace, bickering and bullying, it has become common place.

I observe the horrendous behaviour from family members on a daily basis.

Grandparents being addressed as toxic is banded about wherever you look.

Just this week during a programme on TV a guest on the show said that if her parents did something she didn’t like to her she wouldn’t hesitate in saying that they would not be able to see her children, the grandchildren, anymore. She ended by saying:

I suppose I should be the bigger person, but I wouldn’t be.

The comments written on FB under the article as always are horrible. It feels as though hate of family members is the norm.

Daughters, sons, daughter-in-laws, son-in laws are causing their parents and in laws enormous distress.

Family members, content it seems to hurt beyond reason, even when their parent or in-law is facing a life limiting illness they refuse to think about their actions or even care.

Thinking again of conversations I used to have with my Mum about wartime, it was astounding how the whole community worked together, putting any differences to one side, all working night and day to try and help their family and neighbours in any way they could, to keep safe. They didn’t know if they would survive the night, no time for falling out.

All were fighting the common enemy, not fighting within their families.

We have a society now where

I am all right Jack, prevails.

Our country is at a pivotal time, whatever your views or political persuasion, our country is divided, our families are divided, the world is in crisis, the very time when we should all be looking out for one another, some are insistent in destroying everything in our lives that we should be protecting.

We have become unkind and show little or no compassion, particularly to those close to us.

There are of course many people who are silently doing good deeds, who do go that extra mile, who do take care of others we just don’t hear enough about them.

Sadly the bad stuff makes good headlines, that must change.

Communication is key.

We must talk to one another, not hold grudges or blame everyone else for things.

We come into this world with nothing we all leave with nothing, what happens in between is in our hands, by the way we live, love and treat others.

The alienating generation need to look to themselves, to question their behaviour as they may well become alienated themselves by their own children. By stopping their children the right to contact with their grandparents is Emotional Abuse. When a grandchild asks if they can call a grandparent and it is refused, if a grandchild wants to send their grandparent a birthday card and it is reused, if a grandchild asks why they can’t see their grandparents, do you tell them lies? Do you tell them that their grandparents don’t love them or care about them?

There comes a time when they find out themselves that it is their parents who have prevented that relationship, will they forgive?

If compassion and kindness is alive and well within our families it spreads outside the family, and our country can once again be a great country, a compassionate, kind country.

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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