What to say to the grandchildren?

Every grandparent who has been estranged from their grandchildren live in hope that one day they will be reunited.

So how do we act or react the first time we see our grandchildren?

That is such a difficult question to answer, as it will be different for everyone.

What I do know is that children want to be loved and cared for and to be able to just be children.

That means they don’t want to be questioned about the separation, they most certainly do not want you to be bad mouthing one of their parents, whatever your relationship may have been with their parents has nothing to do with them, they are still their Mum and Dad.

It is very easy to vent your anger and bitterness against one or both of their parents to them, but that is nothing to do with them.

Most children who find themselves in the horrible situation of estrangement, as I have said before, are in an impossible position. Suddenly the relationship they had with their grandparents disappears because the adults can’t get on, for one reason or another. They soon discover that if they ask why, or even talk about their grandparents they get told off for mentioning them, so they stop doing so. Not because they have forgotten their grandparents but they want a quiet life.

Who doesn’t!

It is also true that sometimes children may well have been facing all sorts of problems in their lives and they  have lost trust in adults, if that is the case, they will need help to restore that trust.

That can only be done by patience and sensitivity, allowing the children time and space.

Many parents have been hurt deeply,terrible things have been said and done but this isn’t about any of that, this is about putting the children first.

Be the grandparent who is always there, never judgemental and be that cosy chair for them.

They have never let you go in their hearts, they have just been waiting.




About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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