I have written on this subject before and I make no apology for doing so again. I need to say again, that all forms of Domestic Abuse are unacceptable, DA is NOT gender specific, but I want to focus on male victims today.
It is a subject very close to my heart.
As a little girl and as a women I have had my fair share of just how aggressive, abusive and violent the ‘gentle sex’ can be, anything but gentle.
I was bullied at school like many others, belittled as I grew up and it continues today. I have to say by females predominately.
Why is it that if a woman is a victim of Domestic Abuse it hits the headlines and the perpetrator is charged, and yet if a male is the victim we rarely hear about it?
DA has many forms, it can start as emotional abuse, at every opportunity women will raise their voice to their partner in front of friends, letting men know that as far as any decisions about them both it is her who decides, if he says something she doesn’t like she will hit him, making it clear who he can and can not be friends with. Control how much money he is allowed. She will tell him he is stupid and his opinions are not valued, turning on the tears to make him feel bad. Then it gets physical throwing things at him, including knives, slapping him and biting him. There is much more and worse.
Sometimes all this takes place within earshot or sight of the children. Girls in particular who are growing up with a role-model saying it is ok to abuse men or anyone come to that.
This subject has to be discussed openly and honestly, we need to work hard in giving men the confidence and support in speaking out. Those in authority must take a complaint of male DA seriously and act, it is improving slowly, but it needs to change today across the UK.
As women we must acknowledge that our sex is capable of the most evil acts.
A man or a women cowering in the corner of a room, shaking with fear as their partner is about to violently abuse them is something we should all feel ashamed about.
I attended some training on DA a few years ago, when I asked about male victims, the response was, ” If a man is experiencing DA, he has probably asked for it.” A response I have never forgotten, a response that I sincerely hope would not happen now.
To all girls and women who think it is your right to abuse your boyfriends and men, you are a disgrace to your sex.
If you are a young man and your girlfriend is behaving this way get out of the relationship once an abuser, always an abuser.
As a wife, a mum and grandmother and as a woman I condemn the actions of these controlling, appalling women.
It is time for these perpetrators of horrific acts to be taken to task and to be punished with the weight of the law.
No human being has the right to strip any other human being of all self-esteem and self-worth.
It is also time for women to speak out and to accept this is happening and to support the men who are going through this hell.