The ultimate sacrifice

Someone asked me how I think of what to write in blogs, and usually ideas just come to me, or something is in the press which gets under my skin or and, mostly they are of a result of someones personal situation that just needs to be heard. Of course they are always anonymous as they should be, but it is the personal stories of tremendous hurt and pain, open scars that will not heal that are so important.

Part of our job is to raise the public awareness on estrangement and alienation in all its forms, and there are many situations that bring people to this truly horrible place.

People from all walks of life experience alienation, be that parental, grandparent or other family alienations, and many different ages.

I have written many times about the different scenarios involved.

The total lack of understanding by those not affected never ceases to amaze me.

The trite comments made by people when you talk about estrangement and alienation is unbelievable.

Whilst on holiday last week I had journalists ringing me to ask my opinion of the alleged estrangement within the Royal Family and the new Royal baby. I came to the conclusion that there were hundreds of journalists from all over the world who frankly had been waiting at Windsor for days and days for the birth to be announced and they were just bored.

Whatever I said no doubt will be misquoted or misinterpreted.

Reality is so much more serious.

I have been so saddened this week to hear once again of several non resident parents finding that they couldn’t carry on their life without their children. None of this should be happening to anyone, children now left heartbroken and bereft.

The truth is that grandparents also do and will continue to decide that they can’t go on.

The desperation can only be imagined.

For parents who are alienated from their adult children, the loss is two-fold. They have lost their grandchildren but they have lost their own children, there is no other pain like it.

The hurt strips them of everything, the very reason to be here on earth is taken from them.

What can these parents have done to be treated with utter contempt?

Do those adult children have any idea of what they have done to a parent, do they even care?

I wish that I could let them hear their parent speaking to me, let them hear how they are responsible for causing untold damage.

Parents and grandparents who see that there is only one way out, that they wouldn’t be missed, that their life is worthless as a result of other peoples actions, their own families actions.

These situations are not just some sort of trivial fall out.

The actions of others are causing parents and grandparents to end their lives prematurely, and the numbers are growing by the day.

Do we really want a whole generation of children growing up knowing that their parent has caused one of their own family to end it all?

Sometimes it is just too difficult.

Everyone, be that a dad, a mum, a grandparent, an uncle, an aunt, a cousin a sibling, is a valued person, you all have your place here on earth, if you are no longer here you leave a void that will never be filled. Don’t suffer alone, talk to someone, share your pain.

(I would just like to publicly thank those in various groups across the country who work tirelessly offering help and support, the unsung heroes.)


Telephone: 116 123


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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