The lost children

Once again the mental health of our young people has been in the news.

This week the BBC also aired a programme called Kids in Crisis  

I like, so many I am sure, sat and listened and watched young people who are self-harming, suffering from anxiety, depression and many other mental heath problems, in despair.

Here in my home town of Bristol alone, 11 young people have taken their own lives whilst at University, in the last 18 months, a time when dreams should be coming true, ends in tragedy.

All week our local TV have focussed on the issue.

Why is this happening?

I suspect that there is not just one reason but many, pressures are put on our young people from an earlier, an earlier age.

Children at the age of 4 are being tested, teachers are teaching to test, social media is a powerful influence, and family breakdown are all playing their part.

When I was a teaching assistant, an extra teacher would be brought in especially to teach children how to take tests, bringing the children who might struggle a bit, up to a certain level. Listening to the children and watching their anxieties grow the nearer the tests became was awful. Children couldn’t sleep properly, wouldn’t eat, and  they talked about tests all the time, some believed they were failures all ready.

Each child becoming a number in target setting.

A society that has become obsessed with achievement tables.

There was time when new parents chose a school for their children because it just felt right, now it depends where it is on the league tables.

It is well documented the effect social media is having on our young people, full of filtered selfies, comments on what an amazing life others are living, the problem is that it is not real. It is like looking at life through rose tinted glasses.

We can all say what a wonderful time we are all having, when we are actually finding life a struggle.

You would expect me to cite family breakdown as another problem, and I really believe it is a major factor.

We all need to be part of a family, it is who we are, it is where we belong and it should be where we can feel safe.

A generation of young people are growing up without the stability of a loving, caring family, children who have several dads, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.

They are constantly hearing that their ‘real’ family don’t care about them and don’t love them, that they have a new family now, and that they mustn’t talk about the ‘other’ family.

A continual drip feed of acid pours.

The corrosion of the poison takes affect, the corrosive language does its damage.

Children who are denied that special relationship can so easily believe that no-one cares about them, they have no way of knowing that everyone they are apart from are hurting beyond words, not being able to reach them is something you can only possibly understand if it happens to you.

Their lives have so many unanswered questions.

Why did dad leave me? Why did mum disappear doesn’t she care what happens to me? I thought grandma and grandad loved me, why have they gone away?

Question after question.

It is about time that people ask the question why are our young people so unhappy?

To be open and honest, to acknowledge that those in power have got it so wrong. It is great that we can all talk about mental health, but we need to be finding out the cause.

Our whole society is breaking apart in front of our eyes, family no longer matters, family has been devalued for years now.

At school, children should be able to learn through play, to learn how to be children again, they must not just be number on a table, a tick in a tick box.They should be able to grow feeling valued and loved.

No-one should feel a failure, of any age, no-one should feel unloved and uncared for.

Each and everyone of us, is valued, is loved, is cared for, we all have something to give and we all need to receive.

 

 

 

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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