The forgotten innocence.

Today I watched a heartrending video, a young lady sharing her most inner thoughts.

When we talk about being denied contact and alienation it is easy to forget that so many family members are going through heartbreak at not being allowed to see another family member.

We hear about the non resident parent or the estranged grandparent but how often do we think about siblings who are denied relationships?

Sisters and brothers find themselves in this conflict, of being torn apart from each other, they find themselves having to listen to horrible things being said and they are left wondering what they did for this to happen.

When adult conflict occurs, children should be able to share their concerns and worries with their siblings, they are all going through the same anxieties and confusion. So if that relationship is fractured as well they are alone in their grief.

The conflicts that take place are adult conflicts, it is nothing to do with the children, it is not got anything to do with the children’s welfare. It is about two adults who become revengeful, spiteful, adults who will impact as much pain a they can to the other adult and if that includes tearing siblings in two so be it.

Children will often think that it is their fault when their parents separate or divorce, that they must have done something to make it happen, for them to become separated from their brothers and sisters is beyond cruel it is inhuman.

I was asked the other day the question I am always asked, “Why does this happen,” if only I knew.

We can’t try and find a rational answer because the person who alienates is irrarational. So to seek out a sensible answer is fruitless.

What we must acknowledge is that the whole family is caught up in this, every single one is feeling lost.

Brothers and sisters are in danger of becoming the forgotten casualties , I for one am not going to forget them.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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