The Common Enemy

When you find yourself in the middle of the minefield of estrangement/alienation, emotions run high, people are hurting and are looking for answers, so often those who are trying to support get caught in crossfire.

It is inevitable that often the written word is misunderstood, that those who are hurting feel that everyone is directing their own agenda and not concentrating on the only thing that really matters and that is the children and grandchildren who are facing this emotional abuse on a daily basis.  Many will argue with me that that grandparents are not alienated. A child being prevented from any relationship from people they love, has become a child protection issue.

Any child protection issue should, by its very nature have support from everyone and anyone regardless of how they have found themselves experiencing this horror.

The world of estrangement/alienation finds many different views.

There are those who believe unless you have a variety of initials after your name, a certificate of some sort, you have no place in voicing your views.

We have to leave it up to the experts, whoever they are?

The world of alienation has exploded over the last 12 years, the good thing about that is that it is getting more public awareness than ever before, which is absolutely necessary.

At the end of our last support group meeting, we had a discussion about why is it that people can’t work together, why people have hidden agendas, when did our communities start to fall apart, when did families become so hostile to one another?

We thought about our parents and how we were brought up etc, I remember my wonderful Mum, my best friend, talking about her life during the war. She was in the fire service and like millions of others, didn’t actually know when she went to sleep at night whether she would still be alive in the morning. Bristol was bombed frequently, and it was never the city it once was as a result.

When she was talking about those horrific times, she always had a twinkle in her eye.

I asked her why that was and she said that, everyone was  fighting a common enemy and the whole country worked together, everyone looked out for one another.

The camaraderie was the lifeline for all..

There were no hidden agendas, no egos just a human need to care and be compassionate.

Everyone who is involved in estrangement/alienation are fighting a common enemy, and should put all their energies into fighting this atrocity.

Of course there is absolutely no comparison between a world at war and alienation, although it does feel sometimes that we are at war with our own families.




About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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