Talk about denied contact.

Grandparents often say they are ashamed of their situation, and I remember talking to Esther Rantzen about this when we did the One Show items.

She asked why?

There are several reasons for feeling ashamed, one may be that as a grandparent you think you should be able to make everything right in the family, and when you find you can’t, you feel as though you have failed.

Grandparents who are experiencing estrangement from their own children, also blame themselves.

As a result, many grandparents won’t talk about their situation to others.

They will in some cases deliberately tell people they have no grandchildren, for fear of being told, they must have done something, or that it is their job to put it right. The total lack of understanding can be really hard, so, it’s easier just to say they have no grandchildren.

I understand those feelings, as I have felt that way to, certainly at the beginning,but if we have down nothing wrong, why do we insist in keeping it secret.

It is nothing to be ashamed of.

Relationships are never easy, and I would suggest in most families there are those that just don’t work for a variety of reasons. Some we know why, others we have no idea.

The problem with not speaking about it, just keeps the truth of how many people who are affected hidden.

I am constantly told, that we need to do more to raise awareness, one way of course is for people to be open and honest and talk to others, if you do it won’t be long before someone says, “I know someone who is going through this, or I am going through this myself.”

All issues that we face have to be talked about, we have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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