Step 3 of “I will survive.”

3: With your trusted person, and with the spirit of kindness to yourself, look carefully at your past and present relationships.

Members’ grief is complicated in many ways. Unlike bereavement through death, it is more difficult to find resolution. More than one “precious but lost” person may be involved, and they may still around, though not within reach. There may be a breakdown in relationships with family who may be expected to give you support in a more conventional bereavement. It is important to look at the nature of the bereavement as individuals, as without knowing it, and understanding the full extent of it, it will be difficult, if not impossible resolve.

Here are some questions which might help:

“Which, if any, of your relationships have changed since the estrangement?”

“Were those changes for the better or worse?”

“How would I like things to be in a year’s time?”

“Is this an achievable wish, if not what would be an acceptable second best?”

“How can I make this happen?”

Think of some questions for yourself and maybe some for the group. Writers might like to do some writing.

In a nutshell –

Have a really good look at how things are for you, measure what you have lost. Also notice any positive outcomes, for example, you may have become closer to one person, due to your separation from another, you may have more time to do your own thing. This may not seem like a positive now, but it could become one if you chose to make it so in time.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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