We all have our own ways of ‘coping’ with the sadness, hurt and pain that comes hand in hand when we are denied contact with those dear to us.
Taking on new things, helping others anything we can use as distraction.
It enables us to get on with life, and for most of the time we just manage to keep our heads above the water.
Then, we hit a bump in the road.
Grandparents say that just seeing other grandparents out with grandchildren playing in the park can bring them down.
I hate going past the local park, it is especially bad at this time of year, the summer holidays. It reminds me of what I am missing.
Social media also causes so many to fall under.
I saw photos on a friends FB page, photos of my grandchild’s leaving assembly. She was wearing a blue dress and looked so grown up.
Meeting up with friends can be hard as well, without thinking they happily chat away about their grandchildren, what they are doing, places they are planning to take them, all totally understandable. Of course they want to talk about them, but for those unable to it hurts beyond words.
Often friendships breakdown as a result.
Family members don’t always understand and tell estranged grandparents to
Get over it and move on.
Those grandparents who find themselves estranged and alienated from their own children as well as their grandchildren, constantly wrestle with unanswered questions.
They gave birth to these children, they brought them up, taught them how to hold a spoon, how to cross the road,how to read and write,how to be kind, only to be banished by their own adult children.
More often than not explanations are not given.
It can and does become to difficult to bear.
The pain is unbearable and totally overwhelming, I feel it is all so hopeless, I can not see anything positive in my life, I can’t see any solutions, I feel life holds nothing for me,everyone would be better off if I wasn’t around. I need to find peace. I am worthless.
This is the reality for hundreds if not thousands of grandparents.
If you are feeling this way, you must remember you are not alone,many people have felt like you do but made it through.
You must talk.
You are experiencing enormous emotional distress, you are grieving and you will go through the different stages of grief.
It is possible that you will feel this way more than once, it doesn’t take much to revisit this devastation, as in the examples above, when we hit the bump in the road we can feel as though we have gone right back to the beginning.
Never be afraid to seek professional help, asking for help is a sign of strength.
Call Samaritans on 116 123.