Every estranged grandparent has one wish.

A wish to have their grandchildren back in their lives.

We all have imagined what it would be like, that first hug after many years.

Some grandparents will think that they will be able to get answers to questions they have been asking themselves for all of that time.

It is important to remember, as always, that this is not about ‘us’ but about the children, it may be that when you last saw them they were little but that when you are reunited they are young adults.

Young adults that may have been through some incredibly difficult times, young adults who are still fearful of rejection.

As I have written before, this will be a brand new relationship, a new beginning for everyone involved.

It might not be plain sailing, there may well be a few bumps in the road.

All relationships need to be worked at, need to be done with patience and with no expectations.

As grandparents you might hear things that make you angry, sad and helpless, don’t let that make you slip back into the past.

Don’t fall into the blame game, of resurrecting those negative feelings.

The past is just that, the past, what you have when you are reunited is the now.

Take each day slowly, allow a getting to know you, period. We will have all changed, life will have had an impact on us all.

If your grandchildren feel reserved or distant, it is completely natural, they are trying to work things out themselves.

These family members who have been absent from their lives for so long, family members who they believed didn’t care about them, had stopped loving them. Family members that they had been told we bad people, are suddenly back in their lives.

Many of these young adults feel as though the adults in their lives, have let them down, it is up to us to work hard to show them they can trust us. That we won’t let them down.

This won’t happen over night, it will take a long time.

For everyone who is entering a new period in their lives, embrace it, take your time and allow this new relationship to flourish and grow.



About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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