Members of BGSG over 10 years have contributed to articles, radio interviews and tv programmes, I know how hard it is to open up wounds such as these and we are eternally grateful to all of those who have been prepared to speak about their very personal stories.
After these programmes ect are aired or published I do brace myself for a back lash, but to be honest it is very rare that there is any, but after the most recent programme there was just one comment left.
“I was disgusted by how one sided that report was. My partner and I are going through a terrible time with her judgemental self righteous parents. We paused the TV so we could read more of the letter that was shown and were angry at how it only focuses on the “no further contact” part. After reading what we could of the letter it is obvious this was a last resort and we totally sympathise with the choice this mother has had to make.”
If I step out of my shoes for a moment, I would have to agree it is actually true that these items are one sided.
We have to acknowledge that not ALL grandparents are loving, caring people, there are those whose behaviour is not helpful, there are those who do cause the problem themselves. It would be very foolish to not realise that.
Of course I have absolutely no idea whether the person who left that comment is genuine, or whether he is being truthful.
What I do know is that when Dame Esther requested those who are cutting grandparents out of the children’s lives to get in contact, she got just one response, as opposed to almost 300 from grandparents and grandchildren themselves.
The role of BGSG is not to be judgemental it is to be a support to those who seek our help. We have no way of truly knowing ‘the other side’ but that is not for us to question.
It would be a bit like saying at AA to an alcoholic, “Sorry we can’t help you because you have caused the problem yourself.” That is not how support groups work.
I apologise if anyone is upset or annoyed by this blog. It is a hard blog to read I know, but it would be foolish to not acknowledge that things are sometimes not as they appear.
In a perfect world we should all be able to sit down and talk properly to one another, to find out how we can put things right, for everyone to take responsibility for the damage that adult conflict is doing to children. To put the children first.
However difficult a relationship might be, no-one on any ‘side’ should make someone feel worthless, no-one should play one against the other and no-one should use the children as weapons.