Non-resident parents,grandparents and children need support.

As if  I needed any proof about the lack of understanding and knowledge with regard to the serious implications on peoples mental and physical health, when we find ourselves denied contact with our grandchildren, it was in evidence yesterday.

Comments received online with regard to the letter to GP’s just showed how important it is to continue in raising public awareness.

Of course we are a group who support grandparents but many of us are also supporting our sons or daughters who are going through this devastation. So I hope we endeavour to support all family members.

One comment referred to alienation, saying that it was not alienation to stop grandparents/parents/children a relationship with other family members.

Well, what the heck is it then?

“I have been told to dump my family in ………….” If that is not the drip feed of acid called alienation I don’t know what  is. It is a deliberate act by someone to change the opinion of a child, so that ‘we’ are seen as bad people. Every opportunity to bad-mouth us is used, every opportunity to tell a child we don’t love them and don’t care about them. That is the process of alienating children.

Another comment was  about elder and child abuse, which the writer said was rubbish.

I suppose it depends on how you define abuse.

These are just a few definitions :

use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse.
synonyms: misuse, misapply, misemploy, mishandle;
treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
synonyms: mistreat, maltreat, ill-treat, treat badly, ill-use, misuse;
speak to (someone) in an insulting and offensive way.
synonyms: insult, be rude to, swear at, curse, call someone names, taunt, shout at, scold, rebuke, upbraid, reprove, castigate, inveigh against, impugn, slur, revile, smear, vilify, vituperate against, slander, libel, cast aspersions on, offend, slight, disparage, denigrate, defame;

Non resident parents and estranged grandparents will have experienced those definitions, and more.

The children who find themselves in the middle of this destructive process are also suffering from abuse.

Children are being prevented in having a loving and caring relationship with both their parents, who they still love, they are being denied a relationship with their grandparents, grandparents who love them and just want to be part of their lives.

The abuse that the children are enduring beggars belief.

They are told lies constantly. If the children try to speak about the ‘other’ parent or grandparent they are sent to their rooms for hours, they have their mobiles taken from them, they have any form of communication taken from them. In some cases the food they are given is in short supply, they are allowed no friends to the house, in other words they are punished for just wanting to see their parent or grandparent. They are suffering neglect.

Even when children ask for help from the authorities no-one listens. Those that are the perpetrators of this are so controlling so plausible that they take those who should know the warning signs, in, hook line and sinker. Whilst children are making constant pleas to be heard  their voices are silent however loud they are shouting. Yes I have seen a letter that just says, “Help me please, get me out of here.” So have the authorities but they do nothing.

Grandchildren are being told that their grandparents are dead.

Another comment online said, “Drs can’t do anything, medication is not the answer.”

The point of the letter I felt was quite clear, it was to raise awareness to GP’s that some of their patients may well be experiencing this heartbreak and how it effects their well-being, both mentally and physically.

Non resident parents and grandparents are going through the most  terrible trauma, some can’t  face the future without their precious ones in their lives and pay the ultimate price.

Of course Doctors can’t change the situation but they can be supportive and understanding and hopefully with the knowledge that there are support groups out there grandparents will be able to find the help and support they need.

It is extraordinary to me, time and time again over the last eight years how those online, feel it necessary to be unpleasant and judgemental. They hide behind the autonomy of the internet, rather than being constructive they have to be destructive. They have to be cruel in their responses.

If nothing else it just furthers my resolve to get the real truth out there.







About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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