Never think you are on your own.

It is only Monday and yet the help line has just kept ringing with grandparents looking for support.

Every single one has said,” I thought this is something that has only ever happened to me,”

I thought that to 10 years ago when this happened to us , I had never ever heard of anyone being stopped seeing their grandchildren, the shock of finally realising I could do absolutely nothing about it, lives with me everyday.

My thoughts and feelings were exactly the same as everyone else, fear that my grandchild would forget me, would be told what terrible people we were, ect, ect. the list goes on and on. I too spent night after night staring at the blackness.

I have always said that I have no doubt that I was not totally blameless over the communication breakdown, I have often written publicly as well as privately, that I apologise for anything I may have said or done to have taken us down this awful journey. I don’t know what you are supposed to do if people don’t or won’t communicate, how on earth can you even begin to build bridges under those circumstances.

A grandparent said to me many years ago, “I don’t want to join a group that will make me feel worse than I do already,” I never forget those words, and thank you to that grandparent for saying those important words.

BGSG is here to give anyone help and support who requires it, not to give advice, but to support, not to judge.

Grandparents have so many questions when they find themselves apart from their grandchildren, and although often we don’t have the answers we are here, just normal human beings, trying to put our lives back together, after the heartbreak of it all.

Anyone who might be reading this who feels alone, please remember you are not at all, every member of BGSG is here to listen and to put the kettle on and open the biscuit tin!

A grandparent recently said that she had been advised to go to counselling, but talking to us and coming to our meetings had restored her faith in human beings, and more importantly had restored her faith in herself.

You are all valued.

Jane

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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