Lost children

I would just to thank all those who have subscribed to having BGSG’s blogs sent straight to their inbox.

Of course they are my own views and you may not always agree.

As you know we are focusing on the emotional abuse that is caused by estrangement and alienation, and it has been interesting to note how it has riled someone.

I absolutely know that there is always two sides to every story and things may not be quite as they seem, but how on earth anyone can object to the fact that keeping any child away from a parent or grandparent is indeed emotional abuse, is beyond my understanding.

I wonder if in fact people who decide to target certain people and groups, actually read properly what we are all trying to say and do?

Anyone who knows us and all at BGSG, knows that we champion the rights of children, we are not about grandparents rights, I don’t know how many times I have to repeat that, but there it is again.

We know from first hand the terrible trauma and pain that is caused when a parent or grandparent or any member of a child’s extended family are taken away from them.

Why is it so difficult to understand?

Put yourself in the shoes of these young people.

You have had both parents in your lives, you have spent time with grandparents and the unique relationship, you have been able to accept the unconditional love from your family, only to have it snatched away.

These precious people, that you love, are now apparently bad people.

You are told that they no longer care about you, that they don’t love you.

Apparently, you just have to forget them.

And this is not emotional abuse?

Of course it is.

I have never said that couples should stay together if things go wrong for the sake of the children.

We have millions of families who split up but manage to do whats right for the children, they put the children first, so it can and is done successfully.

Those who decide to use the children as weapons are most certainly not putting the children first.

Of course estrangement and alienation does not only happen when couples separate, it can be for many reasons.

Your own adult children can decide that they are better off not having family members in their lives, Ok but what about the children?

You may not get on with your parents, for whatever reason, but it doesn’t mean that you should prevent the children having a relationship with their grandparents, unless there is a proven reason to do so.

Children grow and want to know about their family, they want to know about their family identity, indeed they have a right to know.

These children may be denied their right, but no-one can remove the blood that runs through their veins, their family blood.

We are all connected.

I will never forget the email we received after doing the BBC One Show, from a child who was not allowed to see his grandparents it said, ‘Please help me, I miss them so much.’

If this is not emotional abuse, then I don’t know what is.





About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

View all Jane Posts


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