So how can you turn a negative into a positive?
Everyone will have learnt their own strategies on how to move forward from estrangement and indeed from any difficulties we may have faced through our lives.
I am a firm believer that going over and over the same old issues helps no-one, least of all ourselves.
We can of course spend every waking hour, dissecting the actions of others who have had such a devastating affect on our lives, we can use all the modern technologies to sift through all that is online, trying to find answers, be that the options of some eminent ‘phycologist’ or expert to those precious photos of our grandchildren.
What does that really achieve?
For a nano second it might help, but then the self questioning starts all over again.
The danger is that everyone suddenly becomes an amateur expert or ‘phycologist,’ dishing out advice to others, the truth is in most cases we will probably never really know what has caused this.
What I have witnessed over 10 years is that those grandparents who eventually reach the stage of acceptance are then able to move on with their lives, to appreciate all the great things in their lives.
It doesn’t mean that they have forgotten in any way, just that they have accepted that they can do nothing to resolve their situation, but they can look to the future, and be thankful for all those around them, family and friends who value them, for who they are.
We have to take back control of our lives, not to be eaten up and consumed by our grief.
There are many, many ways that you can turn a negative into a positive, and that generally involves getting out there and helping others.
We are all on this earth to make a difference, we may not be able to be involved with our grandchildren or other family members , but we can brighten someones day.
As I have said so many times, if we don’t, what is the alternative?
We mustn’t let the past shape our future.