I know I have written a blog on a similar theme as this one is about to be, but even after 12 years I am astonished at the horrendous behaviour of family members, and it is even more despicable in the uncertain times we are all living in at present.

All around us their are perfect strangers doing the most amazing and wonderful acts of kindness to others, no doubt some of these amazing wonderful kind people are actually not as kind as their public face portrays, showing any sort of compassion or kindness to an estranged member of the family is just not going to happen.

There are millions of estranged and alienated families across the UK, and their suffering has been heightened in this lockdown situation, as I wrote recently, parents not knowing if their adult children are safe and well or if their grandchildren are ok, is so distressing.

I wrote about compassion as well, but recently I have been all too aware that there are those out there who have no compassion at all, in fact the more misery they can inflict the better.

Whatever has happened in the past, whatever grievance you may have against another, does nor give you the right to destroy that person

We have lost so many thousands of people over the last few months and there will be many more to come, those who have estranged and alienated another family member appear to have no thought that they may well lose that family member at any time, and don’t even care.

How on earth do these people sleep soundly at night?

It seems that it is perfectly ok to reduce your parents to the lowest ebb possible, it is totally inhuman and heartless.

You may not get on with a family member but that does not mean that you treat that person with utter contempt.

As we get older we are all much more aware of our own mortality, and it happens to everyone, it will even happen to the perpetrators of alienation, they will one day also face their own mortality.

I wonder how they will look back at their life?

Will they be proud of how they lived their life, will they be proud of the way they respected family members, will they be able to be a peace?

When we reach a place where you only find out about a family member who is seriously ill, from a stranger, there is no hope.

If in these unprecedented times all of us have to forgive, forgiving is not forgetting but it is the one and only answer to such heartbreak.

I don’t imagine anyone who has made the devastating decision to deny contact reads this, but if you do, please remember that one day your children will be adults and they will want to know why you did this?

Will they ever forgive you?



About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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