I will not be a victim

Life is full of swings and roundabouts, plenty of great stuff happens to us but we all get our fair share of rubbish thrown at us. It’s called life, and what matters is how we deal with the good stuff but more importantly how we deal with the bad stuff.

How often do we celebrate the good things that happen to us?

Do we even notice them?

It seems to me all too often we focus on the bad stuff, we allow it to take over our entire thought pattern, going around and around. It keeps us awake at night and feels our head with negative thoughts and concerns.

It’s true to say that, when we are feeling desperate and full of despair, the last thing we want to read or have said to us, that we must feel positive.

What we have to make sure is that we don’t become victims.

If you are an estranged grandparent, it is so easy to become totally embroiled within the estrangement world.

Gathering anything we can find on the internet, reading copious books on the issue, joining all groups we can find, our whole being becomes enveloped in estrangement.

I get it, I have been there as well.

To be precise for 11 years, but there was no way I was ever going to be a victim.

The definition of victim -a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.

I most certainly was never going to be passive, so I turned a negative into a positive and set up BGSG.

When we get churned up in the whirlwind and storm of unjustified estrangement doing something positive is the way to regain our self respect and well-being, supporting others is a very powerful thing.

I use the word self-respect as many grandparents say they feel ashamed when the face family breakdown, their self-respect it at rock bottom.

I would implore everyone, to think of ways they can become in control of their situation.

Of course there is no magic wand answer, but when we are this awful place, we feel out of control, so it is vital that we work hard to regain some control over others parts of our lives, therefore not to become a victim.

Going back to my opening words, above all, focus on the good things that are going on in your life.

You owe it to yourself and those who love you.



About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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