How the children suffer.

If anyone is in any doubt about the affect of estrangement  on the grandchildren read on.

Working in schools for many years I often did ‘Circle Time,’ with the children, we would discuss all sorts of subjects.

I had a Teddy Bear who would be past around the circle and the children could ask their question when Ted reached them.

As you might imagine the questions were wide and varied.

The younger children would often ask some very deep questions, and their friends would give some amazing answers to the problem.

I would like to share a particular little boys question, that was shared with me yesterday.

A grandparent was told what had happened in her grandchilds class by a Mum she knew, whose daughter had come home from school crying as she was sad for her friend.

During their Circle Time, her grandchild asked “How can I get my Mum to let me see my Nan, ’cause I love and miss her so much.”

The children suggested some ideas that maybe he could do.

One said,  ” You could talk to your Mum, tell her how you feel.” Another said,

“Write a letter to your Nan.”

Simple isn’t it.

Writing this makes me cry, so moving.

I was affected the same way, when we received emails from grandchildren after doing The One Show. So many children asking for help, children wanting to know what they could do. All wanted to see their grandparents but knew it would upset Mum/Dad if they asked if they could.

Adults who are causing so much heartbreak to their children should hang their heads in shame.

Just because they don’t get on with their parents/in-laws they are using the children in the worse possible way.

As parents we should always put our children first, those that choose to estrange the children from those they love and from those who love them is appalling.

I wonder what is going to happen when these children are grown up?

I know of several cases where the children when older,  start to question what has happened, they ask about their extended family and want to know about them, as is their right. When they discover that it has been their resident parent who has prevented this special relationship they turn against those who have lied to them.

There are never any winners in this.

Going back to the grandchild who asked that question, I hope and pray that one day he will be reunited with his grandparents, grandparents who love him and always have and always will. They are holding him in their hearts everyday, just like he holds them in his.

When I say our grandchildren never forget us, they don’t.

Thank you to the grandparent who gave me permission to share this.

The message here is so, so powerful.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Bless each and every one of them.

A message for the grandchildren from me, ” Your grandparents have never stopped loving you, have never not stopped thinking about you. They are just there, waiting  for you, ready with open arms. You are in their hearts today, tomorrow and beyond.”





About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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