Have faith in yourself.

The total sadness grandparents feel when they find themselves denied contact with their grandchildren is just like a bereavement , the grief is real and follows its own course.

So how can we deal with such sadness?

I don’t think we ever get over a loss, but we do learn how to move through it and learn to live with it.

Even in the darkest of days, things will happen, good stuff, we have to be ready to see those good things and to embrace and take them as opportunities.

Any tragedy we face in our lives, and we all will, needs to be accepted and not fought against.

Never refuse support, everyone needs a hand to hold.

To accept, we have to just acknowledge our sadness and the challenges it is throwing at us, it is not the only terrible thing you have had to deal with in your life, so think back, “How did you cope the last time?” You found the courage and strength to get through it then, so you can do it again.

It is realising how resilient we are that can help. Trust in yourself that you can work through this again.

Allow those moments of despair, take some deep breaths to bring you back to the here and now.

Start to think of the future, maybe a new beginning, could you start to do something new?

This utter sadness will and does change, just like the seasons. When we are at our lowest ebb in the long dark winter we are motivated because one thing that is absolutely certain is that the days will get longer, the light will return and spring will bounce forth, in all its glory and beauty.

Life may not have turned out quite as we had envisaged but we can pull through,  we know we have amazing inner strength and courage,we can re-invent ourselves and find a different road.

That road has a new purpose.

There is sadness all around us, not only within our own lives but everywhere, it is being aware of that sadness that can galvanise us into trying to make a difference, to try and eliviate some of that sadness.

Making a difference to someone else, is so empowering for both parties.

Of course we can go down the other route, changing sadness into anger, frustration, rage but that only makes us feel worse.

Experts talk about ‘The Open Heart,’ it is the gateway to our own power and compassion, for ourselves and others.

If we all have ‘Open hearts’ then there is nothing we can’t face.

Jane

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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