I am writing this blog in the cottage we are staying in for a week.
It is beautiful, peaceful and a great place to recharge our batteries, there are hundreds of little lambs at the bottom of the garden and ducks on the pond.
We are in the North East, of course the real reason we are here is to spend a week rebuilding relationships and building new memories with our granddaughter.
Coming back up to this part of the country was always going to be with mixed emotions, as not too many, happy, past good memories, it was where everything fell apart and where estrangement and alienation started.
But as I have said that is all in the past, those lost 11 years can never return, what is important is to make brand new memories together, showing our granddaughter how much she is loved and always was, and that all of us are there for her, we will never let her down.
It is the simple things like having her and her boyfriend in the back of our car, listening to them chatting, having them just popping in, that are so precious.
To be able to see where she lives and where she works is also lovely, so that when we go home I will always be able to have a mental picture in my head.
After so many years of not knowing anything about her life not even knowing if she was happy and safe, to have her with us is just so emotional.
I think I have written this before but after all the difficulties she has had to deal with in her young life she has grown up into such a sensitive, compassionate person.
So proud of her.
You will have heard me say, often, never give up hope, and I really do mean that but maybe even more importantly, remember that your grandchildren actually never give up hope, they will wait, they will speak up when the time is right for them.