In the last 12 years I have heard so many different responses with regard to alienation of children and grandchildren, sadly many responses are not good.
We will have all heard them:
You must of done something
She/He must be a terrible Father/Mother
He is their father so he has rights
I can hear you all agreeing.
The reason that this sort of response happens is because no-one knows what it is like to be alienated from a child or grandchild, unless you have experienced yourself.
So it is up to all of us to educate others, to keep on raising awareness, this problem is at epidemic proportions and has become the norm. We can not allow that to continue.
The answer is simple, yet incredibly serious.
If we continue to accept the silence that is forced on children, yet another generation of children will be subject to the Emotional Abuse of alienation.
The damage that is caused can be life long damage, children with no self esteem or self worth. Growing up believing that a member of their family, be that a parent, grandparent or other is a bad person and doesn’t care about them or love them.
Over the years family has been de-valued, from the top down. Children now don’t feel family is important and it has become part of our throw away society.
Of course not every family can be looked at through rose-tinted glasses, we are human after all, and we all make mistakes. some mistakes will be unforgivable and possibly irretrievable, we do have to accept that but it is the minority.
Can you possibly imagine what it is like to be a child hearing horrible things about a parent/grandparent those very people that you love, are being painted as monsters, by someone who is an unhealthy parent, someone who is hell bent on recking havoc against another and using the children as the trump card.
No of course we can’t, we don’t know any more than those who don’t understand about alienation.
We can only know when those children are free from the hatred that they have become enmeshed in, and they can use their own voice once and for all.
It is then that we can see and feel the damage.
A child growing up being told that they are not loved, is so painful for them, many never get over it.
Going back to the title of this blog, of course it matters.
As a human race we need each other, we need to part of family, we need to be loved, we need to be cared for. We all need to know our own identity, and to know our family history, each member of our family makes us who we are. If there are pieces missing we are not complete.
Mums, Dads and Grandparents are taking their own lives as a result of not being part of these precious peoples’ lives, no-one has the right to inflict such harm to another.
All of us who have been or are estranged/alienated must be working together, egos have no place in this, this is not about any one person, this is about fighting for the rights of children and grandchildren for the greater good.
There will of be those who will attempt to stop us, they will bully us, be abusive to us, make false allegations about us but none of that matters.
The only thing that matters is the children and us all doing what is right by them.