Can you heal a broken heart?

Many grandparents will say that their hearts are broken as they don’t have their grandchildren in their lives, many have also lost contact with a daughter or a son.

The overwhelming feelings of sadness can take over their lives. To feel sad is natural and shows that your hearts are tender, but it needs to be addressed.

If you are deeply depressed and you are finding it difficult to carry out everyday activities then you must get professional help.

We hear a great deal about different therapies that seem to be a panacea to all, but we have to be cautious.

What works for one may well not be helpful to someone else.

We all know that the grieving process takes time, and it is not a set time, it is different for everyone, it can’t be rushed.

I think we all have a public face, a mask that we put on and we can outwardly appear happy and contented, but the mask does fall. It is a pretence.

This deep sadness can take grandparents to very dark places, feelings of complete hopelessness is all they can feel.

It is very hard to tell grandparents that there is hope still out there, that they are valued and that it will ease, when they are so low.

Sadness is an emotion that has been there from the very first day of human existence, there are few people if indeed any, who have not felt it.

Sometimes just sitting quietly thinking about others in our lives who have felt sadness can normalise it, can make us see that those people did come out the otherside,  they did find they could survive.

Of course there are many ways of working through sadness, you will have hear them all before, go for a walk in nature, notice all the great things around you, be grateful for your home, be thankful for good friends, they all work to an extent, but it takes time and hard work.

I try to think about a young man who for many months has been sitting outside our local shops, unkempt and lonely. In freezing temperatures he has sat there, day after day. Locals have got to know this anonymous young man, making sure he has had drinks and things to eat. Most importantly speaking to him, acknowledging him as human being, a young person who has hit hard times, not anonymous. Last week he appeared in a slightly different location, he has had his hair and beard cut, he has new clothes that people had given him and is proudly standing there selling the Big Issue, with the biggest smile on his face I have ever seen.

The utter sadness and emptiness he felt before was etched in his face,it is a look that haunted you, but now he is trying to make others feel better by the way he is communicating with everyone.

When we are enveloped with this utter devastation of loss, I truly believe that part of the healing of a broken heart is to help and support others.






About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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