I like many others like to watch BBC Call the Midwife, moving through the decades has been a real education in so many ways.
They often focus on the many social issues of the time.
I was interested that in last nights episode one of the subjects covered was of the midwives relationship with a divorced man. Nothing odd about that in itself although even in the 60’s it was not something to be proud of, or to be shouted from the rooftops.
The divorced father has a daughter, who appears to have excepted the situation and the new women in her Dads’ life, but not is all that it seems, she is actually struggling with it all and it is suggested that she sees a phycologist.
After the visit Dad is told that his daughter would benefit from only seeing him perhaps once a week, that he is not to pick her up from school and the question arises about his new relationship.
The midwife, makes the decision to put the daughters emotional state first, and ends the relationship.
So even in the 60’s Dads were treated as a problem, they were sidelined and thought to be causing all the issues.
Here we are in 2018, 56 years on and things have not changed at all.
Predominately Dads, ( of course it does happen to Mums as well) are the ones who are discriminated against, they are portrayed in the media at every opportunity, as to be looked at with suspicion, most men are dangerous. Children don’t need to have their Dads in their lives.
As someone who has been married for 46 years to the most amazing man, a mum of two men and a grandmother of two boys, I worry for their future.
Where do men stand in society now?
Have the tables turned far to far?
It feels now that being a ‘single-parent’ is some sort of badge of honour, the truth is of course is that there is no such thing as a single parent, unless one parent has died.
Back to the programme last night, it was the Midwife who decided to put the daughter first, above hers and the Dads’ feelings for each other.
I am not suggesting at all that everyone should stop having a relationship with a man or women who are separated, that would be ridiculous. What I do think is that when this situation arises, always put the children first, it is such a difficult time for the children, they are confused, upset and probably angry. Introducing a new person in their life has to be done slowly and sensitively, make it clear that the new person is in no way trying to take the place of one of their parents.
Listen to the children, many couples who separate, manage to make this transition brilliantly. There are no excuses, it is too important to mess it up.
Children can have life long emotional issues as a result of getting it wrong.
They are your children, both Dad and Mum, they are both of your responsibility, they are not part of this throwaway society.
So in 2018, government are now thinking about setting up Family Hubs, where couple can go to get help and support, 56 years too late I would say.
Marriage breakdowns are at epidemic proportions, the very foundation of society is breaking down, and no-one seems to realise how significant that is.
So we have not moved forward at all in tackling this fundamental destruction of familes.