It is true to say that no-one really knows or understands estrangement/alienation unless they are or have experienced it, it is also true to say that unless you are or have been an alienated child you can not possibly know how it feels.
Those who don’t understand will come out with all the usual phrases that you might expect,
Well you must have done something, just say sorry,
or if you are a parent alienated from your child/children they say,
Well you have parental rights, so I don’t see why you can’t see them.
There are plenty more besides, what is shows is a total lack of understanding.
Or maybe not wanting to understand.
A child who is alienated feels lost and alone, why is it that one of their parents is not coming to see them? Why are they being told they don’t love them anymore or care about them?
Are they bad people?
No doubt the same thoughts go through their innocent young heads with regards to their grandparents.
Put yourself in their shoes.
How terrible to believe that you are not cared for or loved.
Is it any wonder that alienated children have low self-esteem, no self worth and think they must have done something to cause it.
Those of us who are the parents/grandparents who are prevented from seeing our children/grandchildren, know that all the things they have been told are lies. We know that we never stopped loving them, that we ached every single day thinking about them.
As far as the targeted parent is concerned, yes they do have Parental Rights but that means absolutely nothing at all.
The alienating parent will stoop to any level to prevent the targeted parent seeing their child/children.
Why is it even necessary for a parent to have to go to court to be allowed to see their own children?
The targeted parent will spend thousands of pounds going to court, it is not unusual for that to be in excess of 30k, they will often be subjected to the most horrible false allegations against them, how do you disprove an allegation?
That is the level that the alienator will stoop to.
Even if a court order is made, it often wont be adhered to, the time when the child is due to be spending time with the targeted parent, the alienator will say the child is unwell, this will happen over and over again.
In the meantime that precious relationship between both parents and child is being severed.
As adults we know what that feels like, to have your heart broken, but what is it doing to the child/children?
We can only imagine, or learn from those alienated children, they are the only ones who really know how it feels to be stripped of those precious relationships.
For those who come out with trite remarks as I spoke about at the beginning of this blog, please note this can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime.
And this phrase says it all.
Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are. Benjamin Franklin.
It is time for those unaffected to be as outraged as we are.
Time to admit and acknowledge that it is Emotional Abuse to prevent a relationship between a parent, grandparent and extended family.