Adding fuel to the fire.

Social Media in all its forms can be a useful tool, but we also know it can be a damaging tool.

Like you, no doubt,  I get constant ‘ads’ for a variety of groups on Facebook, one in particular that I get on a regular basis is a grandparents group, I had a look to see what it was and to my horror it is a group for grandparents to join where they basically bad mouth the parents of their grandchildren and say what dreadful parents they are!

Not surprisingly many are estranged from their children and grandchildren.

As always this is my blog and so is in my opinion but if any grandparent is trying to be reconciled this is not the way to go about it.

I have already been a parent, still am, I made many mistakes bringing up my children, and I would never tell the next generation how to do it or to even suggest they are doing it wrong.

If your adult children come asking for help and support that is quite a different thing altogether.

Who is to say what is right and what is wrong anyway, trends and fads are ever changing some are better, maybe some aren’t but that isn’t for us to say.

The children are the responsibility of their parents, not grandparents.

I also often wonder how would these grandparents feel if or when their grandchildren ask them why they wrote such appalling stuff about their parents on the internet.

The internet is here to stay, whether we like it or not, and I am very conscious that once something is written it is out there, in many cases for all to see. Lots of forums are public, and even a closed group is easy to access.

I for one found being a parent the hardest job in the world, still do, and in no way would I ever criticise anyone else’s parenting skills.

I don’t mean that I think it is ok to prevent a loving relationship with the grandchildren, that is a completely different thing, but reading some of the things in these groups, is unbelievable and I am afraid only adds fuel to the fire over contact.

If any of you reading this is a member of a group like the one I am talking about, please think twice.

Would you want your grandchildren to be able to read what you are writing?

Jane

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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