The lost children

I am constantly reminded that it is completely different when an adult child cuts a parent out of their lives, as a mother the thought that one of my children would behave that way is just unbearable.

In 2007 when I set up BGSG I thought, naively that the loss of contact with a grandchild happened due to separation/divorce situations, how wrong I was.

The truth is that it happens for all sorts of reasons, there may be alcohol or drug issues, domestic violence within the home, bereavement or family feuds.

Each and every one of these scenarios of course have the same result, grandchildren being denied contact with their grandparents.

Referring back to my first sentence, it is true that I am blessed with having my two sons in my life, and so very blessed now with their wives who I love dearly, and I am thankful every single day.

What I would say, the fact of  witnessing  one of your children go through the devastation of having their precious children taken from them is heart stopping, as a parent you only ever want your children to be happy to see them almost disintegrate in front of you, tears you apart.

Please don’t say, “Surely they have a right to see their children,” if I have heard that once I have heard it a million times. The answer is, yes of course they have that right, the reality is that if one parent decides they don’t want them to see the children, it won’t happen. Agreed times and places of meeting are constantly ignored, or they are told the child/children no longer want to see them.

As our family justice system stands, it  rare that a breach of a contact order is dealt with, whatever the politicians like to say, we know what really happens.

There are fathers and mothers ending their lives as a result.

Before you judge, please think, all of us are going through hurt and pain, no one reason is worse than another, the feelings hopelessness are equal.

The children and grandchildren are still being denied that relationship with their special person.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

View all Jane Posts


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