I have spent the last few days reading as an observer the two forums I mentioned in my last blog, and if I am honest I wish I hadn’t.
Because there is so much pain and hurt on both sides, how on earth do we move forward, of course as with all things on the internet you have no way of knowing how true the ‘stories’ are but the hurtful posts and comments are breath taking.
The posts go round and round in circles.
If we are looking for the answer to why estrangement happens in the first place, then this is certainly not the way.
Estrangement happens for many, many different reasons as we all know.
The written word is often misinterpreted as well, it is not the same as looking at someone when you talk to them, people are quick to judge, to have an opinion it is the nature of the internet.
It certainly does no good at all to either side, when the posts become more and more critical of each other. It becomes a slanging match.
Of course people are angry, sad, confused but to be revengeful is just so destructive.
As Gandhi said ” An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind”
Should we really be writing things such as ND(nice daughter) or NS(Nice son) or nasty son in law …..?
In my view, for what its worth, if grandparents write things like that they play right into the hands of those who have made the decision to estrange family members, not only that, but it tars all grandparents with the same brush, it does the cause of raising awareness no good at all. In fact it does completely the reverse.
We need to make sure that we are not the ones who are making the world blind, but opening peoples eyes to the enormous damage this is causing the children who find themselves in this difficult situation.
There are grandparents for whatever reason are facing such difficult times, not only with being denied contact but facing very serious health issues, grandparents who are fighting so hard to make every day count as time for them is precious, those are the grandparents we all need to be supporting.
To let them know they are not alone, we are here for them, to not judge or have an opinion but to just be there.