Sometimes it is important to clarify our role as a support group.

You will know that we set up BGSG in 2007 when we lost contact with our granddaughter, it is all in the Our Story section of the website.

In my naivety I thought that this only happened when a separation or divorce occurred, I know now  that there are many reasons why estrangement occurs.

As any support group, we are here to give support not to judge.

We support grandparents, over 3,000 to date, who need help and support at a time when things are difficult. We all need support during our lives, for one reason or another.

Yes, of course each side of this sadness has a different perspective, but it is not for us to be involved in that way.

It is like saying to an alcoholic, at an AA meeting, “We won’t support you because it is your own fault you are in this situation.”

However, we find ourselves in this horrible situation, everyone is hurting, for me the most important people here are the children, who are in the cross fire.

I am often asked to intervene, to try and get both sides together, that is not our role.

It does seem so obvious to get people together, to start to communicate again, to solve their differences but sometimes the damage that is done is so deep. There has to be a willingness on both sides, an agreement to not look back at the past, but to look to the present and the future. For the good of the children.

Blame is never the answer, none of us is perfect, we all make mistakes it is how we acknowledge our own mistakes and hopefully learn from them that counts.

If I had one wish for everyone concerned it would be to listen to one another, to give each other time, things may not be as they seem.

Jane