I often talk about the importance of your own well-being, and looking after yourself.

At this particular time you may not be seeing your grandchildren, or your adult child has decided to have no contact with you. That is their choice.

Rather than lamenting what might have been or might be, you need to think about what would you actually be doing if this estrangement hadn’t happened.

You would be living your life.

You would be going out with friends and family members, you might have been playing sport or going to a class of some sort or another. Just being you and getting the most out of life.

Being estranged should not prevent that.

Think of all the things you like to do,the people you like to spend time with, this is about you, no-one else, but you. What makes you happy?

Before you say something like ” I can’t be happy without my grandchildren, in my life.”

It is up to you to find your own happiness and calmness.

Making many more memories that you will be able to tell your grandchildren, when you are reunited.

I know that our grandchildren would not want any of us to be unhappy, or want us to be miserable all the time, anymore than we would want them to be unhappy.

We all have to become survivors of alienation and estrangement, not victims.

Helping and supporting others is one way that we can gain strength, it is time to stop blaming ourselves, I am sure we all did the best we could as parents or parent- in-laws.

None of us knows what is around the corner, but remember many grandparents are reunited and new memories can begin.

Jane