Reading posts and comments and speaking to grandparents daily, never gets any easier.
Listening to someone breaking their heart, reading the heartbreak in the words written saddens me greatly, you cannot fail to feel their despair.
Partly because you know exactly how it hurts, but because no-one wants to hear the pain in someones voice, as human beings it is a fundamental trait to help and protect those who are suffering.
Of course anger is there in those voices as well, talk of retribution, bad Karma, wishing those who are causing the hurt ill.
Is that helpful?
I often lie awake at night reliving a conversation I have had, wondering how that individual is, I suspect they too are lying awake.
Since founding BGSG in 2007, I sadly have also had to hear the news I dread.
The news that a grandparent has taken their own life as a result of this situation. A life that had so much to offer, so much love to be given but a life that felt so unbearable that they could no longer carry on.
If you are listening to someone who is having suicidal thoughts you must not try and deal with it, as supporters we are not qualified to do so, it requires specialist help. Always pass on the Samaritans number:
uk 116 123
It is very easy when discussing alienation and denied contact to almost ‘fan the flames’ to encourage the talk of retribution ect. Maybe for some that is helpful, but as an observer as I often am, it is deeply worrying.
We may feel, rightly or wrongly that we have been treated badly, that our right to be a grandparents has been abused and violated, but if we continue down the road of negative thought and process, it does not help us in the healing we all need to achieve.
We all know that all of this effects us physically and mentally but to enable us to work through all the emotions we have keep fighting to keep strong, to appreciate all that we do have, not to only focus on the bad stuff.
If we don’t, I have witnessed the alternative, and I never want anyone to believe their life is not worth living.
From the Samaritans:”Suicide is preventable but requires a comprehensive multi-agency approach at both national and local levels.”
To all supporters, be mindful for when it is time to bring in the experts.