All through our lives we have to face rejection in some form or another, it could be not getting the job we went for or not getting into our football team, and to be rejected hurts, it is a real physical feeling.

For those separated from a family member, there is an immense feeling of rejection.

Our hearts are broken.

The usual defence happens within us.

We blame ourselves, we have no self-esteem, we can’t forgive, it is the other side who have wronged us and it continues to eat away at us, making us bitter.

Of course not getting the job we wanted is miles away from being rejected from a family member, but actually our reactions are similar.

Perhaps we need to look at what we did to rise above the rejection of the new job.

I suspect we didn’t fall into dark depression and hopelessness.

We learnt from it.

We learnt how to protect ourselves, in case it happens again, we accepted it, we healed the hurt and disappointment and we carried on.  We learnt from our own mistakes.

Being rejected is so painful, all of us want is to feel loved, to love and to be valued.

Of course we have differences in families, we don’t all think the same, as part of the older generation, we can easily think we know it all, that we have all the answers, but we need to be able to accept that we learnt what we know by getting it wrong first, and learning by it.

Every generation has to learn that way.

How we deal with rejection is vital if we are facing estrangement because if we don’t deal with it, what is the alternative?

Jane