A few years ago a grandparent used this phrase to me and it has since been used by many people, it sums up exactly what it feels like to be denied contact with our grandchildren.

As with any bereavement there is a process that takes place the 5 stages of grief.

1st stage is one of denial and feelings of total isolation. When we experience the acute pain of loss it is easier to think it hasn’t really happened, it is our defense mechanism to protect us.

2nd stage is feelings of anger. We are angry that this has happened to us.

3rd stage is bargaining. We need to try and regain control so we go through the, ‘if only’ scenario.

4th stage is depression, of course we feel very sad and low.

5th stage is acceptance when we reach the place where we allow ourselves to grief as and when we need to, and to accept help and support from others. Hopefully we can then allow ourselves some peace and calm.

Jane.