It does seem that this month of January has taken its toll on many grandparents.

Many are feeling very low, lonely and depressed.

Apart from the post Christmas feeling, a time when we all steal ourselves to just get through it, the days have been wet,grey and miserable, it feels as though we get up in the dark, al day is dark and then we go to bed in the dark.

However hard we try, our self worth dwindles.

So what can we all do?

Well, nothing is going to change if we don’t make an enormous effort to get out there, whatever the weather, meet people, do something for someone who needs our help. I know when you are feeling low it is very hard to motivate yourself, but if we don’t the only way is down.

It could be a good time to revisit our, ‘I will survive’ plan.

I will survive plan. Jan 17th 2015

Just focussing on one day at a time rather than looking back or looking forward, focus on the here and now.

When I go to bed at night, I think about one thing that I have achieved that day, and however small there are always achievements.

Many people are facing hurt and pain from recent events, being told they are bad parents, that it is their fault that relationships have broken down,being told that there will be no conversation, and much more besides, to distressing to post here.

When you get told constantly that everything is your fault it is so easy to start to believe it.

My question to anyone who has made the decision to prevent healthy relationships within the family, is this.

How can you begin to put things right, if you refuse to communicate?

It is a cop out to just blame everyone else, this is not about blame, it is about being adult and having those,sometimes, difficult conversations. We may not like the result but at least everyone is given an opportunity to air their views.

The distress and pain that I have witnessed, just this week, is enormous. The damage that has been done, is so deep, but once again, one side holds up a hand and says, I will not have this conversation. The result, someone is left, confused, bewildered and grieving.

I listened to a radio programme that was on in Ireland also this week,discussing, ‘family rift,’ and found myself shouting at the radio.

There was an utter lack of understanding on behalf of the presenter and the so called expert, in my view.

This awful word ‘toxic ‘ parent came up over and over again, from the presenter himself.

It is only if you are involved in this situation that you really know the truth.

So today, please go and do something for yourself, and tonight think about what you have achieved.

Jane