This is a phrase I saw the other day and it got me to thinking, as these things often do!

As I keep saying I am of course no expert, I don’t have letters after my name, I don’t have any degrees, I don’t have this certificate or accreditation. I am just me, nothing more nothing less.

What I do know after 8 years of being apart from my grandchild, I have reached a place of acceptance.

I assume that because I didn’t fight through the courts to try and regain contact some do say that was weak.

Actually for my son , I believe it showed enormous strength to make that decision. Making the heartbreaking decision not to go to court was the hardest decision to make.

It does seem that there is always someone out there who always knows better, who can throw out statistics, quotes from some ‘learned’ person, and they may well all be true, but for me on a day to day basis it is the person on the end of the phone, the person writing to me for the first time that counts. They don’t want to hear percentages or outcomes they just want to be able to reach out to someone.

They are accepting help and showing great strength.

During our life time there are times when we have to brace ourselves against different storms, it is perhaps learning which storms we have to battle against and those that we take cover from and allow them to pass by.

If by considering the impact of going down the legal route 8 years ago would have on our grandchild, and now having reached a place of acceptance somehow makes me weak, that is for others to decide, but for our family it was the right thing to do.

Don’t ever let anyone say you were weak because you have accepted your own situation, you have to do what is right for you and your family, not because an ‘expert’ says something different.

I receive emails from all sorts of people who are much cleverer then me, giving me strategies and programmes in the field of estrangement , if I tried to follow them all it would be an interesting exercise, as they all say something different. The terminology changes weekly, so in the end I have no idea what they are talking about, blinded by words and phrases.

So call me weak for accepting my situation, I don’t think I am.

We do seem to live in a society were we put people on a pedestal, always a dangerous thing to do, so easy to fall off, and there will always be those who are ready, willing and able to push them off.

Thank goodness, I don’t even have a stool!

Jane