This year we have had several grandparents reunited with their grandchildren, hearing their stories is such a privilege.
We have walked along side them in the darkest of days and then we watch as the darkness lifts.
Sometimes it is just a matter of meeting the children again for the first time after many years, and a hug is all that is required all words are wrapped up in that embrace. The beginning of a new relationship.
It is a new relationship because it can never go back to how it was before. The little grandchildren that we still remember bouncing about and giggling have all grown. They are now young adults, people in their own right, making their way in the world. Making their own decisions. They are confused and sometimes angry that they were kept away from someone they loved and someone who loved them.
In other cases, it is the beginning of a very long journey of supporting that young person who is so damaged by the behaviour of others it takes many months to regain their trust . The realisation that the very person who was supposed to have been caring for them had in fact betrayed them by keeping them away from family members, lied to them and told them that those people didn’t love them anymore and didn’t care about them, effects them deeply.
As I have written so many times before, whatever happens in a relationship, it is to do with the adults, it has nothing to do with the children.
Children never forget people they love, none of us are forgotten, we need to stay strong and to always be waiting for that knock on the door.
I have been given permission to share this with you :
“We went almost five years without seeing two grandchildren (aged 5 and 3 at that time) that were very attached to us, and I don’t know how we would have survived without the friendship, support and prayers from those that were walking the same path. Their Mum, my daughter, filled their young minds and hearts with lies, hatred and fear. We still don’t know to this day (7 years later, we’ve been reunited almost 4 years) what made her think alienating them from us was the right thing to do, why she did it nor what she told our babies. All we know is that the since they have been back in our lives it has been magnificent with our grandchildren (not so much with her; we still have issues, we still walk on eggshells and we are painfully aware that at any moment we could be right back where we were 7 years ago.) And, we do our best to cherish every day we have with them.”