When we think about the different aspects of estrangement, there are many theories, many different ways of how to deal with it.
Experts, telling us we should do this or that, how do we know who is right?
I suppose they are all right from their point of view, what we have to do is to fight our way through the maze of jargon and find a fit for our own situation, there is no one size fits all.
Of course the question is always the same, when an adult child is rejecting you.
Why has my daughter or son turned against me?
Grandparents say, “I was good parent,” “I tried my best,” I love my children,” ect.
I wonder if jealousy plays a part.
Do some adult children feel that your relationship with your grandchild/grandchildren is too strong? Is it possible they feel threatened by it?
Of course in a perfect world, a loving relationship with all generations should be welcomed with open arms, but clearly that is not always the case.
I know that the amazing relationship my mum had with my boys was something I will always hold very dear to my heart, so I do find it very hard to understand why it should cause a problem.
Grandparents will say that it is like walking on eggshells, trying to keep the peace, always mindful that a wrong word or wrong look could result in grandchildren being stopped from having contact.
As a grandparent we should be there to give help and support when asked, not to interfere or criticise.
The children are the parents responsibility not ours, personally speaking I wouldn’t have it any other way, I have been there and worn the T-shirt, have no desire to do it again.
That is the beauty of being a grandparent, not having the responsibility.
Remember my mantra, “Think your own thoughts, don’t speak them.”