Since 2007 I have tried to highlight the heartbreak of  being denied contact with our grandchildren, I quickly realised that to continually use the phrase “Grandparents Rights,” was not the way to go.

There are several reasons for that.

That particular phrase is guaranteed to antagonise, parents.

We have to remember that there are thousands if not millions of parents who are estranged from their children, it is something that affects both Mum and Dads, but it has to be said it is predominately Dads who find themselves in this devastating situation.

Although Dads have parental rights for their children, and a right to a relationship with their children, ex partners   will stoop to the lowest levels, with false allegations ect and the courts will almost always believe the Mum. Dad has no way to refute any allegations. The system is totally flawed.

Some estranged parents will say why should a grandparent have rights over and above a parent?

Which is why within BGSG, I have always talked about the rights of grandchildren, the right to a loving and caring relationship with both parents and grandparents.

Often grandparents will say that ‘we’ should be being more proactive, more militant, march to Parliament ect, and if thats what people want to do, so be it.

As founder of BGSG, it is not something I can endorse, it is not part of the ethos of the group.

We have to look at other groups who have made the decision to go down that route, and ask the question, what has it achieved? I would say very little, it creates short lived sensationalism.

Having said that, I absolutely understand, no actually I can’t say that, as I have no idea as a parent how I would feel if I was unable to see my boys, what measures I would take to make people listen to me.

I can really only say how I feel as a grandparent.

My belief is that it is about education, it is up to those of us who are the experts, because we are going through the awfulness of it all, to take every opportunity to get out there and talk to people, to write articles to do interviews on any form of media. It is true that many journalists will not write articles that we hoped for, but if just one more person reads or listens and are moved by our stories, it is educating.

Of course, grandparents will now be saying, ‘but I have lost so many years already, I need things to change now.’ I too have lost nearly 8 years of being part of my granddaughters life, I too have been through the different stages of grief, and continue to feel such sadness it physically hurts, but I can not live in the past, those 8 years have gone what we all have is today. It is what we do with today that is important.

I will continue in any way I can to raise awareness of our loss, but I won’t be dressing up in a cat women suit any time soon!! Now theres a thought to leave you with!

Scary.

Jane