There are numerous websites, forums, organisations, supporting and helping parents and grandparents who are facing estrangement, but who is supporting the children involved in their own separation from people they love?

It is only when children reach adult age that we begin to get a clear picture of how their lives have been changed forever, by the very adults who should have been there to protect them.

Stories, although of course they aren’t stories they are fact, that begin to slowly unfold are harrowing to say the least.

As adults now,they look back on what has gone before, they describe it themselves as abuse and neglect. We were always suspicious that was the case, but to hear it from the children themselves is devastating.

How can parents suddenly become the ‘monster’ in a child’s life?

Children who spent years thinking that it was quite normal to not have proper food in the house, quite normal for friends to be kept away, normal for their parent to go out and leave them at home by themselves, and quite normal for no-one to listen to them.

Social workers, the NSPCC ect, helplines,no-one listened.

They were left to suffer at the hands of vindictive resident parents.

These children who have had to deal with this, are now adults with deep scars. They have no trust in adults, they have given up on everything, they have no self-esteem and they become insular.

They have no interest at all of the outside world, the outside world is a scary place.

Parents and grandparents who find themselves witnessing , what appears hopelessness of it all, also have no help or support.

Young people who are empty. Void of emotion, void of purpose, void of  the ability to just be young people.

Alienation that we face is nothing in comparison to what the young people have been facing, the sudden realisation that the world they have lived in for ‘years’ was not real, they have been lied to, they have been treated cruelly. Those they once loved have destroyed them.

As parents and grandparents we have to try and find a way through. We have to start the long and painful process of healing, to show our young people that they are valued, that they are loved that they all have a role in life.

These young people, will never be the same as a result of the cruelty bestowed on them, but in time I pray that they will see that they can make a difference, that they are unique, that it is them who will start to shape their future.

It is them who will take back control in their lives.

All of these children are precious.

Jane